The initial days of Puguntha Veedu

This would have happened to current generation; at least once in their life.

This is the time we experience extreme pain or happiness.

2006, I completed my schooling. I started my engineering in a college which is 300KM away from my home. Life started creating the road without asking me and I was just driving in the path.

First day in hostel, I was waiting in a long queue with one plate in my hand for breakfast. Thoughts rolling in my mind, Mom was waiting for me with idlies and two variety of chutney served in the plate and then the voice “schoolukku late aayiduchu da” ringing in my ears. Someone was touching my shoulder. The guy behind me in the queue; asking me to move forward. I came back to the queue with tears in my eyes. Guess those tears wanted to see my reaction which was quite new to my life. I was thinking why the hell I joined in this college. Why not some other colleges in my home town.

Do we call this as home sick? May be. But I miss lot of things. My parents, relatives, friends, functions, home town festivals etc. etc., Without having any other option, made Isai Gnani to occupy my mind (sorgamea endraalum athu namoora pola varumaa). It is really painful when you miss whatever you had in last 17 years of your life. Many times I cried in the bathroom. But still little bit of happiness. Because other guys might be crying in some other bathrooms with same kind of feelings. So I am not alone.

The daily activities and day to day life adapted with me. Life was beautiful with friends, professors, classrooms etc. Completely filled with happiness and friends. Nothing else. Years rolled out.

2010, final year, the same breakfast experience. No more queue. We just grab the plate from any one of our classmates who was already having his breakfast. Put some items in the same plate and start eating. Meanwhile some other guys join with us. We would hand over the plate to him and run to classroom. At least 3 to 5 hands would be in the plate at any time. Also the plate would travel at least 3 persons. Life completely changed.

With lots and lots of tears and feelings I completed my college life.

Then my life continued in the corporate world. In my room as well as in the office I had some of my classmates with me. So I was able to handle the initial days of corporate world and adapted quickly.

But after 4 years I traveled onsite. Which is again a big change in my life. First time I experienced the meaning of the word loneliness. I miss everything. My eyes completely filled with tears (this time not in the bathroom ;) ). I was thinking why the hell I traveled onsite. But again those were my initial days. Soon that new life adapted with me. I was able to come out of all these feelings.

These are some of my experiences. But I was thinking How a girl feels when she gets married and enter into a completely new home?

Whatever I experienced in different parts of my life, the initial pain and feelings (to adapt with the new situation), she will experience everything in a single shot. Also for me, I was surrounded by people having same mindset and who were experiencing the same kind of feelings. But for a girl that's not the case. She will be surrounded with different kinds of people having different mindset. She will get lot more responsibilities too. So it would be tougher than what I experienced. They may need lot of time to adapt with their new life.

Guys, think about this and give some time to them.

Girls, please give your comments.

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- Jeyabalaji

The Expectation

“Expectation leads to disappointments”. You might have read this many times at many different places.
If we make our expectation 0, then the maximum percentage of our disappointments is also 0 and our happiness is 100 percent. But is it possible to make our expectation 0? Why not give a try? If not 0 at least we will try to bring it down to a smaller number.

The equation.
disappointment <= expectation.
happiness = 100% - disappointment.

Why suddenly a post like this? I want to narrate a small incident from my life. I like my higher secondary maths teacher a lot. During my school days, my friends and I went to his home lots of times and had our doubts clarified. I was one of the guys expected to score a centum in maths (that didn't happen finally :) ). So he knew me very well.

Recently I saw him in a marriage function. I wanted to talk with him. I thought he would remember me and inquire about me, my job etc. So I went and talked to him, asking him about his health. He didn’t remember me and simply replied ‘Fine’ and asked ‘how are you?’

I was very upset that he couldn't remember me at all. But finally he asked me, ‘you are the one who studied at Amrita right?’ I said ‘Yes.’ He said ‘Ok, bye’.

I was still upset. I came home and started thinking about the incident. Finally I understood that, according to me he is the only maths teacher; but according to him, I am the one of the thousands of students he sees in his life.
(Just like how one girl might be special to you, but to her you might be one of the 100s of guys she met :) )

After thinking a lot, I was very happy that he remembered my college name at least. That’s a great thing.

But the important question here is why I expected him to remember me? That is what made me unhappy and disappointed. What if I didn't expect anything in return and just did my job from my side? I will be much happier, right?

So after this incident I am trying to reduce my expectations. I will just do the things from my side and will not expect anything in return. Till now I was failing most of the time (and not all the times). So I am making progress in my chosen path. I am sure I will decrease the value of expectation to a smaller number.

Friends, who read this, please try it out. Also let me know your point of view.

(Thanks to Ramkumar for correcting my grammar mistakes :) )

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-Jeyabalaji